I picked this topic today because recently I experienced a lot of pains physically and mentally two weeks ago I had a horrible toothache and had my tooth extracted I’ve ignored for a while and I do regret that Now.
Also I’m starting to realize that my current job isn’t what I want to be doing for the rest of my life And I think by now after 2 months I can make that decision of leaving with higher level of confidence that me leaving is in both sides best interest. I liked it at first, I wanted to give it a chance, but it’s important that one should be true to himself and not compromise about this kind of things although it might be convenient to do so sometimes. This is what I learned from my toothache. It was easier and more convenient to neglect it for a long time but in the end I experienced so much unnecessary and avoidable pain.
The problem with leaving your job is the fear of not being able to land a better one or not having many options. This feeling is inflated with the fact that unfortunately with circumstances out of my hand I already wasted so much time before graduating. I try hard to keep this kind of thoughts from making me settle for a job I don’t like or look forward to.
Thinking about these things while having a toothache is what inspired this post because at that moment I was wondering which one was actually causing me more pain. The toothache is relatively easier to treat and cure obviously, the mental pain is more consistent and profound and harder to cure. I think pain and suffering are essential and unavoidable in life, one should always try to make the most of them and decide which cause or reason he’s willing to suffer for.
There’s one scene that always comes to mind when thinking about pain that comes to my mind Chemical burn from fight club that scene is one of my favorite scenes of my favorite movie of all time When tyler durden poured some chemicals on the narrator hand and told him that he should face his pain and accept it and not try to escape from it like these scared people do And that: “It’s only after we’ve lost everything we are free to do anything”.
After a few tries and rejections, self doubts and fears start to magnify and you start to question whether you can afford to achieve your dreams and career goals or you are just destined to work joylessly in something you don’t really like.
For me this is my chemical burn to follow tyler’s advice means I shouldn’t try to shut down this pain I should accept it and acknowledge it and use it to drive myself forward. I know how easily I can trick myself into believing that things aren’t as bad as they are to delay an uncomfortable decision or a move.
At this point it might seem like I’m writing this post so that I can talk more about fight club. Most people only remember the first two rules of fight club (which I’m breaking currently obviously) but I find the seventh rule of fight club an interesting one: “Fights will go on as long as they have to” simple as that. I’ll keep fighting for what I want for as long as I’ll have to.
This was a very short post. I know I’m trying to gain back some momentum to write more consistently. Let’s hope that the next post will be a celebration of me taking steps in the right direction towards my goals.